The Hardest Assignment Yet | Abundance D-18

Welcome to day 18  

Today is about our freedom to be the one we truly are deep down – simply authentic, true to ourselves, free of any judgment or trying to answer other people’s expectations.

Today’s assignment is to think about 3 situations in your life where you feel or felt the freedom to simply be YOU.

Write about them and describe them in detail.

Awaken this sensation in you and note to yourself what are the conditions and circumstances in which you allow yourself to be truly you.

———

Today’s inspirational quote:
”I celebrate my unity with all life, knowing we are all one.”

Have a fantastic day! 💖☀️

May the universe be with you 🙏

My Assignment:

Today’s assignment is to think about 3 situations in your life where you feel or felt the freedom to simply be YOU.

Write about them and describe them in detail.

Honestly, this is the hardest exercise yet. Like authentic to MYSELF. Before, I’m good with finding inauthenticity that I have with others because it’s so clear to see from my outwards relationship with them and our interaction. But this is calling me to look inwards. 

And I’m realizing that many things I do is because of others’ expectations. Not that it’s wrong or harmful to me. It’s just easier to follow their advice and answer to their expectations, than to face my own responsibilities. 

Coming back to the assignment: 

1) One clear incident I can think of is when I go trekking. It was the last trip to Indian – ABC. 

When you are walking for hours and days and nobody is exactly sure of the time we will reach each point, the expectations just take the backseat. 

There, I feel like nobody expect me to do anything. Maybe they did. But at that point, it didn’t affect me one bit. 

I remember the incident clearly. The fog that caressed the brown wet grass. The herd of horses that roamed along the horizon. It was just me standing in the gray mist and gazing around the timeless stretches of barren land. It was just me and the space around me. It felt like time just paused. Free of judgement and not trying to answer anyone’s expectations. 

I try to recall the daily activities and I wonder of when I watch my korean drama or read my manga. Honestly I didn’t feel free doing them. It was more of an attempt to escape from the stress I’m in.

When it comes down to work, there are several short moments of these authentic me where I just don’t pay heed to others’ expectations. Like when I’m writing our content pieces – I know that in order to finish them, I can’t have myself worrying about others’ judgement and expectations. Otherwise, they will paralyze me.

2) Maybe when I’m reading books. When I was young and I don’t think about whether these book will get me a better paying job or make me able to look good, I just read. And it was simply wonderful and enjoyable. Lost in the library. Eyes marveling at the novels and the design books. There was no other consideration of doing something else. I remember my heart even aching because these pictures are so pretty and I want to be as good as them. Would being good at drawing make me look better? I would say no. Because at that point, looking better has do with being smart and physically attractive. In short, I was enjoying reading because I enjoy reading.

So I’m seeing that when I’m authentic to myself is there’s no other reason to do something, other than the action itself. 

I do something because I do something. 

3) Maybe driving to home yesterday? I was wary of the cars behind and my dad’s driving instructions. But I tell myself to be carefree and relaxed in actions I’m doing. And then when my sis changed the song, I embraced it and listen along with it. The ride was much faster and more relaxing for me. 

Truthfully, another factor why this assignment is so frustratingly difficult is because I’m trying to find some answer from doing this assignment. I was thinking that if I can identify these moments, I can repeat them and be on the state of happiness and freedom. But instead, I’m stressing out even more. And feeling stumped and sleepy numerous times. Maybe it also has to do with my research paper that my prof are expecting of me. 


Credits:

Assignment Instructions: https://runvagabound.wordpress.com/2020/01/29/day-18-of-21-days-of-abundance-challenge/

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