To be honest, on last Thursday night, I didn’t expect much for today Mother’s Day. I didn’t think that today we would be showering each other with 💕 hugs and kisses💕 and me thanking her Teacher-Monk, whom I thought was a 👿👹👺 Given that on that night and throughout the half of 2019, I was pissed at my mom and pissed at myself for being pissed at her. Worse was I don’t even know WHAT I was pissed about. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

☁️🌥⛅️🌤☀️
Friday morning came and I entered the room to the What’s So Course, clueless to what is it except that the renowned Sanford Robbins was leading it. As he walked us through the exercises, I managed to articulate my frustrations at my mom, citing her complaints and the high expenses of her Temple building project. 😡🔥💸💸

☀️☀️☀️But the biggest breakthrough was my discovery that all these time I painted myself as a pitiful Cinderella, dictating a set of “should do/be” for my mom. Her Teacher-monk then got casted into my drama as the devil that destroyed our family and my happiness. More than that, I just fear problems. So that ultimately, I don’t have to be responsible for anything. Even so, I couldn’t complete with that incomplete yet.

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔
As the What’s So Course was about you being complete with your incomplete, my homework on Saturday night was to complete that. It’s funny in retrospect that even with my discovery, I was reluctant to complete and let go of my drama. Even on Sunday morning, I writhed and turned on the sofa.

💡💡At that moment, Sandy’s words echoed in my head *️⃣Not wanting to complete = not wanting to give up being right. *️⃣Yeahhh…. cuz all these time, I was damn RIGHT and 100% SURE my mom and the Teacher-Monk caused my agony!!! When in fact, I was the author of that soap opera. I caused my own agony!!! Completing it meant accepting all of that as it is. Fundamentally, I realized that only I. AM. the CAUSE of my OWN HAPPINESS. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS

🤯🤯🤯🤯 Right that second, it felt like a huge wall just crumbled down. All the long ass list I had about the “must-have, must-be, must-do” in order to truly be happy: new clothes, new body, true love, abundance, ending family drama, ending education & gender inequity and achieving list of accolades…. just disappeared.

✨ I was awestruck at how powerful I can be, enabling myself to be happy with just the way I am, do, have now. ✨ In a nutshell, It’s not about “with great power comes great responsibility”. 📌 It’s actually with great responsibility comes great power. ✨ And bro, ain’t I powerful 😉 to be happy and to kiss my mom’s on her rosy, happy cheeks 😘

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