To be honest, on last Thursday night, I didn’t expect much for today Mother’s Day. I didn’t think that today we would be showering each other with 💕 hugs and kisses💕 and me thanking her Teacher-Monk, whom I thought was a 👿👹👺 Given that on that night and throughout the half of 2019, I was pissed at my mom and pissed at myself for being pissed at her. Worse was I don’t even know WHAT I was pissed about. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Friday morning came and I entered the room to the What’s So Course, clueless to what is it except that the renowned Sanford Robbins was leading it. As he walked us through the exercises, I managed to articulate my frustrations at my mom, citing her complaints and the high expenses of her Temple building project. 😡🔥💸💸
☀️☀️☀️But the biggest breakthrough was my discovery that all these time I painted myself as a pitiful Cinderella, dictating a set of “should do/be” for my mom. Her Teacher-monk then got casted into my drama as the devil that destroyed our family and my happiness. More than that, I just fear problems. So that ultimately, I don’t have to be responsible for anything. Even so, I couldn’t complete with that incomplete yet.
As the What’s So Course was about you being complete with your incomplete, my homework on Saturday night was to complete that. It’s funny in retrospect that even with my discovery, I was reluctant to complete and let go of my drama. Even on Sunday morning, I writhed and turned on the sofa.
💡💡At that moment, Sandy’s words echoed in my head *️⃣Not wanting to complete = not wanting to give up being right. *️⃣Yeahhh…. cuz all these time, I was damn RIGHT and 100% SURE my mom and the Teacher-Monk caused my agony!!! When in fact, I was the author of that soap opera. I caused my own agony!!! Completing it meant accepting all of that as it is. Fundamentally, I realized that only I. AM. the CAUSE of my OWN HAPPINESS. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS
🤯🤯🤯🤯 Right that second, it felt like a huge wall just crumbled down. All the long ass list I had about the “must-have, must-be, must-do” in order to truly be happy: new clothes, new body, true love, abundance, ending family drama, ending education & gender inequity and achieving list of accolades…. just disappeared.
✨ I was awestruck at how powerful I can be, enabling myself to be happy with just the way I am, do, have now. ✨ In a nutshell, It’s not about “with great power comes great responsibility”. 📌 It’s actually with great responsibility comes great power. ✨ And bro, ain’t I powerful 😉 to be happy and to kiss my mom’s on her rosy, happy cheeks 😘
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